Life's Postcards

work in progress

What an intense few weeks, from planning my 20 year high school reunion to yet another blissful west coast visit, life has been an amazing roller coaster ride.

I've been noticing recently how much more accepting and appreciative I've become of the downward slope of the ride. Even when my inner child wants to kick and scream, I have many more moments of just breathing instead.

Not because life is getting any easier, which in my mind would totally defeat the purpose of the work we all have to do to get to this place.

So here's to opportunity, which comes to us every day disguised as hard work. Be it the chance to love harder or work harder, or maybe even both, I hope I keep diving in.

xo
Ker

enjoy the silence

My friends and family have told me over the years that when I go silent, they know that something is up.

I'm not always super fantastic about keeping in touch but at times I go through phases where all calls (except those from doula mamas) go to voice mail and are sometimes never returned. It's definitely something I have struggled with because it can lead to hurt feelings or confused friends.

But with social media being what it is these days, I can usually at least be found checking in or posting a photo or two. Even on my darkest days I can find something to "like" on facebook, so I never disappear completely.

This summer has been a little like that. Lots of changes happening around here and at the peak of the difficult ones I definitely took several weeks off of checking my personal email. I didn't even open my computer for two weeks while on vacation...I was doing what I considered "enjoying the silence".

Maybe a little too much.

Not checking or replying to personal emails started to trickle over to work emails and when it was brought to my attention I really had to stop and think. 

How much "checking out" is healthy and at what point does it become hiding your head in the sand?

I'm a person who loves quiet, there's no such thing as too quiet for me. When I'm stressed all I want to be is quiet and in those times the emails, texts and voice mails become noise. I want to shut it all out.

But with two kids and a job as a doula, there's no such thing as shutting out my phone so I've decided to compromise with myself on the emails.

I will check and respond to any and all emails (even on my iphone) during normal "business hours", let's call it 9:30 am - 5:30 pm, which for me disappeared years ago when I began working for myself from home.

No wonder I was avoiding email, I've been known to check and reply to emails on my phone in bed at 2am because I can't sleep and if I happen to read something upsetting I definitely will not be getting any rest. 

I used to just have a cup of tea and read a book (I need to get back into that habit).

That leaves mornings and evenings free to be quiet or better yet, enjoy the good changes...for which there have been many!

For starters I have a 15 year old now, yikes!

That just sounds scary considering the stuff I was getting into at age 15.  We celebrated by riding as many rides as possible at Kings Dominion, and some we rode twice.

8 hours later I left with a nauseous stomach and three exhausted teenagers, and it was worth it.

I also have a kindergartner who is all set and excited to be starting at her new school in just a few weeks, I can't stop being completely startled that time is passing so quickly! 

So far this summer she has become a swimmer, complete with flips and bottom of the pool hand stands, a diving board diva and paddle boarder.

Ahhh, my little outdoor enthusiast...next stop kayaking, tennis and the rock wall!

 

 

So here's to an August filled with facing changes, the good the bad and the really ugly, all while making space to continue to enjoy the silence.

Namaste xo

 

 

all I really needed to know about how to live I so did NOT learn in kindergarten

Montessori school, maybe.

You remember that great poem "share everything, play fair, don't hit people, put things back where you found them, clean up your own mess, don't take things that aren't yours, etc, etc". Those were indeed some mighty important lessons and yet so beautifully basic.

There were some things however that I didn't learn that are quite important in my present daily life so I thought I'd share a few and save you the trouble of finding out the hard way.

1) mopping without sweeping the floor does not save time, it triples it. now you have to wait for the floor to dry, sweep up the animal hair and kid mess you mopped around and re-mop.

2) do not mop before you wipe off the counters. don't believe me? try it for yourself and then see lesson 1.

3) You will most likely never dine at the White House so having perfect table manners isn't necessary. Eating dinner at the table with your family is.

4) When life gives you lemons, make a lemon-drop martini. way better than lemonade, trust me. 

5) take lots and lots and lots of pictures and print them out. no online tool will ever replace the power of a photo that you can see and most importantly, feel.

5) running around outside in the rain will not give you a cold. so get caught in a rainstorm and jump in some puddles every once in a while.

6) that boy that teases you on the playground may have a crush on you but he isn't the one you want to date. the one who's doing his homework on the park bench is.

7) never underestimate the power of a smile. they make the world go round.

8) make time for your friends and invite them into your home, not just when you actually have time. they don't care if your laundry is piled on the couch or the hand towels in the bathroom are seasonal.

or if the floor has been mopped correctly ;-)