One of the number one questions I get asked by my doula clients is how Dads and Doulas work together. What they are really asking is "dad wants to be involved, does a doula take his place?" And the answer that question is so easy, absolutely not! Quite the opposite in fact, a doula enhances dads role and we are there to support dad too!
The more support the better
Studies show that when doulas are present at birth, women have shorter labors, fewer medical interventions, fewer cesareans and healthier babies. Recent evidence also suggests that when a doula provides labor support, women are more satisfied with their experience and the mother-infant interaction is enhanced as long as two months after the birth. But did you also know that with doula support, fathers tend to stay more involved with their partner rather than pull away in times of stress?
More often than not we see dad's participating in the birth preparation classes, breastfeeding classes, prenatal visits and at the birth, which is a beautiful thing. Yet, we sometimes forget that it may be difficult for him to fulfill all the different expectations of his role as a labor coach. I recently had a dad tell me that he was overwhelmed imagining trying to remember what all the procedures and terms meant and that he really just wanted to be there to support his wife, and as a doula I know I can help him do just that.
A good example that I give to my clients is a woman’s instinctive behavior during birth. The rhythm and ritual of labor tells me that mom is coping well but dads often don't know what to make of this normal process of birth. There is no doubt that it is hard to watch a partner in pain, even pain with purpose which is the case in childbirth, but can also lead to more stress for the father. A doula can provide reassurance and can skillfully help the mother to cope with labor pain in her unique way. If a cesarean should become necessary the father may be asked to accompany his partner and not all fathers can realistically be expected to provide labor support during such a stressful time. Also, if the baby needs to be taken to another area of the hospital dad can go along and the doula can stay with the mom to provide continuous support.
The best of both worlds
Many fathers are excited and really want to be involved during labor and birth. With a doula, a father can share in the birth at whatever level he and mom desire and most importantly, however he feels most comfortable. Many times dad wants to provide physical comfort, such as back massage and change of positions, and to help mom stay focused during contractions. The doula can provide the guidance and suggestions for what may work best and her skills and knowledge can help him to feel more relaxed. Now that's what I call a Dream Team!
To learn more about the benefits of having a doula at your birth you can visit www.dona.org.
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